Thank you to all of you who have sent your good wishes to us and followed our journey here in Vietnam. Based on the number of e-mails I’ve been receiving, many of you adoptive families yet to travel are interested in some of the practicalities of living life in Vietnam. So, after a month of experience, I am TOTALLY not qualified to answer! :) Still, I will try to give you a few of my thoughts on how to not just survive but THRIVE during your stay in Vietnam.
First of all, though, I have to be a bit preachy. You see, before you can begin to thrive in this country, you have to actually WANT to do so. I know that seems beyond obvious, but it is not necessarily the prevailing attitude that Americans seem to exhibit here. If you are only travelling to Vietnam to pick up your child and return home post haste, perhaps this post isn’t for you. But, if you want to fall in love with this country, its people and customs, and most of all, the special part of your new son or daughter that is and forever will be Vietnamese, then read on:
- Find SOMETHING good to say about everything that you see or do. Instead of being scared of the hoards of scooters everywhere, play our game and try to pick out your favorite one each day. Bill and I have developed scooter preferences by paying attention to their details, which seem to be a way of expressing Vietnamese personality. Seriously, my friend Natasha gave one of the best pieces of advice on her blog that has helped us enormously during our time here: do NOT complain about things that you cannot control EVER. This rule includes heat, hunger, crying babies, surprise thunderstorms, spit-ups and full diapers, busy traffic….the list is endless. Just don’t complain. Period.
- Find a way to eat Vietnamese food. Really. Now, I didn’t really care for much of the Vietnamese food that we had in the U.S. so this was a step of faith for me. The food here is just so much better, fresher, and more wonderful than anything I attempted at home. Here’s a list of some of the favorites that Bill and I have found: chicken with lemongrass and chili, stewed or braised pork in clay pot, chicken or pork with ginger sauce, five-spice rubbed beef or pork, fresh spring rolls, fried spring rolls (especially in the South – Can Tho is best), pho (especially in the North, although Pho 24 is just absolutely wonderful and inexpensive in both Hanoi and Saigon), anything served satay style – chicken, beef, pork, or meatball, anything served with cashews – they grow here and are so much nuttier than any in the U.S., braised chicken with ginger and lemon leaf (one of my absolute favorites).
- I’m also going to list the foods that I have learned are also a big part of Vietnamese cuisine, even though they are not quintessentially Vietnamese. They include: croissants – any style, including plain, chocolate, ham and cheese stuffed, with nutella – they are soooo good any time of day, brick-oven pizza has been really tasty throughout the country, especially with fresh tomatoes, the French sandwiches and roasted tomato soup (again with those fresh tomatoes!), soda water with a squeeze of lime (very refreshing when it’s hot), the baguettes that are so soft, all sorts of beautiful pastries (our favorites are Opera cake, with chocolate and hazelnut fillings and the cheesecakes), and our all-time highlight of the trip, fresh coconut ice cream. Simply not to be missed.
- Hire a tour guide. The guides are wonderful, friendly, and full of good information. We’ve learned more about the history and culture of this country in a couple of days with a good guide than we would have in a year without one. We’ll put in a plug for our travel agent, Tommy Nguyen, at Vietnam Luxury Travel (www.vietnamluxurytravel.com). His staff has been so helpful. We have been able to focus on enjoying the country rather than navigating the streets and buying the entrance tickets to sites, thanks to them. They also arrange everything from hotels to Ha Long Bay trips.
- Don’t hide inside. I know it’s hard to get out with your new babies, but you’ll be glad you did. Even if you just do something simple like taking a walk around Hoan Kiem Lake or hiring a cyclo for an hour to see the Old Quarter, you’ll be so glad to have the memories. And of course, enjoy a bit of that great food while you’re out as well! :) It’s always better NOT eaten in a hotel room!
- Enjoy the shopping here. The Vietnamese are so good with handmade items that we have focused there. The list of choices is endless – lacquerware, bambooware, embroidery, quilts, silk clothing and purses, paintings, just to name a few. Take some time away from the Tax Center in Saigon to browse the small shops and galleries on Dong Khoi – you won’t be disappointed. Make sure to enjoy the thrill of the hunt in the Old Quarter in Hanoi, whether your goal is to find the funniest t-shirt, the most beautiful purse, or the cheapest DVD. Don’t miss 44 Le Loi for smocking, embroidered children’s clothing and tablecloths in Saigon (less than 2 blocks from the Rex). Also, don’t miss the Vietnam Quilt Shop at 16 Hang Tre or the entire streets of Hang Be, Ma May and Ly Quoc Su in the Old Quarter of Hanoi.
- Take good care of yourself physically. This trip is tiring, no doubt about it, so treat yourself well and you’ll make it better. First, I would really recommend arriving a couple of days before you are supposed to travel to your child’s orphanage if you possibly can. Jet lag hit us the worst on Days 3 and 4, and I think it would be more special if you had passed that point prior to meeting your child and having your G&R. Also, eat well (again, see the list above – this one just isn’t so hard in Vietnam!) and stay well-hydrated. Finally, consider seriously whether or not you bring your other small children along on the trip. The tiredness, jetlag, and emotional changes of a whole new world with a brand new child are extreme for an adult, yet alone a youngster. Bill and I personally would not have had the physical strength to care for another child during this time. God has been gracious to us, allowing our 5-year-old back in the U.S. to have a wonderful bonding time with his grandparents. Even at his young age, he has learned so much about being thankful for the times we have with our family and the lesson that all good things require a little something sacrificial of us, including the great thing of having a new brother. Lessons I hope he will take with him beyond just this time while we are away.
I hope that this list has been helpful to you. I’m sure I’ve raised an eyebrow or two, but please remember that these are my own personal musings. You and your families may come up with other answers as to how to love your time here, and I wish you that blessing! As these are just personal opinions on my part, I am going to take the rare opportunity to close this blog to comments. Please take what good you gleam from this post, toss any bad that you find, and most of all, fall in love with Vietnam! :)
