Two Months at Home

Two Months at Home!

So, I've heard all of your cries for new photos and updates about our boys! :) We have been home a little over two months now. (Next week, it will be three months since we first met David - amazing!) Most days, we can barely remember our lives before David - he is so much a part of our family and our hearts. Other days, we think about the whirlwind that has been the last three months of our lives and wonder how on earth we are still standing! :) We know you all really just wanted to see how cute our sons are, but the proud Momma has to fill you in on all the details. So...here goes:

David is 11-1/2 months old this week - WOW! I can hardly believe that the tiny baby that I first held nearly three months ago will be one year old in a couple of weeks! He is hardly the same child that we first met, but I feel as though we are meeting the real David a little more each day. David has battled scabies in a mighty way this first year of his life. He also struggles with a severe form of eczema - a skin rash that breaks out periodically all over his little body. To put it simply, our sweet son itches. A lot. Almost all the time. Since we have been home, we have been for countless doctor visits and tried so many medications. It's been my full-time job the last couple of months to get him healthy. The good news is that he is definitely so much healthier than when we first met him. He is still a tiny guy, but not nearly as small as three months ago. He's gained about three pounds - might not seem like much, but to him, it's 20% of his total body weight! He eats like it too, with round-the-clock feedings about every 3 hours or so. Right now, I think he is taking about 40 oz. of formula a day, plus baby food! He had some catching up to do in the nourishment department, but I think he's definitely making a dent! Between the skin issues and the nighttime feedings, sleep has been a rare treat in our house since we've been home. (Thus, the very infrequent posts here - sorry!) I know though, it will only last for a season, and in time, David will be fully healthy and sleeping much better. Please forgive me, though, if it is a bleary-eyed season for me after close to three months of broken sleep! I'm taking the opportunity to blame all my typical craziness on lack of sleep right now - one of the benefits of being up at 2:00 a.m. on a regular basis!

So, aside from the health stuff, who is David? Well, he is such a tiny, feisty little fireplug! :) He is happy and smiling a lot of the time, and when he smiles, he really lights the place up! I finally caught a picture of him in the grass the other day that shows a glimpse of his real self. It's my favorite thus far. I'm pretty sure that he is going to be my mischief-maker, too, because there's always just a bit of a naughty twinkle in his eye! He is such a trooper, as he really fusses so little about his skin despite all the polka dots he continues to have. I think he learned early in life to find the bright side to his situation no matter what. Really, God has taught me a lot about my attitude from watching him. I wish that I could also be so constantly positive all the time! David is definitely a Momma's boy, and there is no place he would rather be than in my arms. I guess I won't complain too much about that one - my arms are a little tired occasionally, but my heart is full! :) He is still pretty uncertain around larger groups of people and with strangers. I am anxious for our friends and family to get to know the real David soon too, but I'm sure he's storing up plenty of mischief for them in years to come! :)

Will has been a great big brother so far. He started kindergarten in late-August. He goes half-days in the afternoons, so we still get to have some lazy-morning time with Mom and the boys. I'm really glad that Will isn't away full days yet. He has really gotten to know David better for being at home some. It also gives me a little more time to give him some extra attention, which I think is helping us through all the changes in our lives right now. When I stop to think about it, I am amazed at how Will has tolerated everything from Bill & I being away a whole month to having a new brother to starting school. Basically, his entire little world is different! Sure, we have had our days of tears and our days of testing behavior, but all in all, he has been a great kid, and I am so proud of him. He is a certainly a full-blown kid now - no more preschooler in him! He loves Legos, soccer, doing artwork, learning to read, and playing with his friends.

It's an unusual post for me to have so little news to report. Last year, not a month went by that we weren't travelling somewhere or going on some exciting adventure. This year, though, we've decided that our exciting adventure is right here under our roof! We've been to the zoo a couple of times, checked out a couple of baseball games, met up with our playgroup, hung out at the pool...all the basic everyday stuff. But, wow! Suddenly, with David in our lives, all the everyday stuff has become extraordinary! I think as a family, the four of us seem to all like it that way! :)

It hasn't always been easy since David's been home. I wanted to put in a special thank you to my lifelines, though. We have some dear, dear friends and family who have listened to me bellyache about tiredness, supported me through tears as we struggled to find a solution for David's skin, brought us dinners to our house when I was too exhausted to cook....the list of help just goes on and on. Our family, of course, tops that list, with their physical help when we first came home, and lately, the countless hours they've been available for phone chats. Our church group has also been so kind - both our Sunday School class and my Mom's Bible Study group. They have fed us physically and spiritually! :) My dear friend, Mai, is riding this journey of new babies with me, and I am so glad that we are taking this trip together! She's always there to cheer me up with a phone call, and her Mom has me hooked on Vietnamese Spring Rolls! Finally, there's my Adoptive Moms' group - Freshwater, as we call ourselves. They are a constant wealth of information, as many of them have been through these transitional times themselves. Most of all, they listen to me as I vent, encourage my heart, and pray for me regularly. I couldn't ask for more! :) If you are a part of this adoption experience, find a group of girls that can hold your hand and tell you that you are going to make it. You deserve it, and you will need it at some point. There are some special challenges to the adoption process. Don't miss out on the special blessings that include heart-friends like these!

For those of you blog-followers, I promise I won't be so long in posting next time! After all, we have a big birthday coming up soon! :) Keep in touch! For my dear blog-buddies still waiting to travel, I continue to pray for you regularly. You will make it, and it will be worth it in the end. "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy!" - Psalm 30:11. I am praying that you will all be dancing soon!

At Long Last.....Photos! :)

Finding our Way to Normal!

Someone once said that "Normal is just a setting on my dryer!" I couldn't agree more! We are finding our way little by little towards the "NORMAL" setting in our lives...but we're not quite holding our breath for it yet! :) After a week of help and love from our extended family, we are now working on being just the four of us. In our lives, that includes:

• anywhere from 6-9 bottles a day, mostly taken at night
• sleeping in 2-3 hour increments (yes, for an entire month!)
• countless diaper changes (you could count them, but why?)
• loads of tiny, sweet laundry items to be washed
• more smiles than we could ever have asked for from both of our boys

Yes, it's an adjustment getting used to having two sons in our household. No, we wouldn't have it any other way. Will has been a great big brother. He loves to play with David, and is never too busy to help. He even patted David's leg and told him how proud he was when David had to get his first shots this week. Will said, "David was such a trooper! He did really good at the doctor!" I'd say Will has been quite a trooper this summer as well, and we couldn't be more proud of him.

David continues to be a joy. His health is continuing to improve, and little by little, his scabies sores are disappearing. It's fun to see his little personality start to shine as he plays with his toys, crawls all over the house, and is starting to try his hardest to pull up! He LOVES being held, and would prefer life best if I held him 25 hours a day. Needless to say, my ability to get things done is drastically reduced, but then, my required "to do" list is pretty short too: 1) Hold David, and 2) Love on Will. So, perhaps the laundry will continue to pile up and the delivery menus will get a lot of use, but that's okay with us! :)

Today is the one-month anniversary of our G&R date. David has officially been our son for an entire month! Cupcakes for everyone!

Home Sweet Home!

We arrived home the afternoon of July 3 to a great cheering crew at the OKC airport! Thanks to family, Clines, and Archers for a fun welcome! David did well....not so great on the flight from Hanoi to Tokyo, but then made up for it by being an absolute angel on the long leg from Tokyo to DFW. We were so, so glad to see friends and family and most of all, Will! :)

Sorry to be slow-on-the-post, so to speak, but the past few days have been a whirlwind of activities and emotions. We've had so much help from both sets of grandparents (Thanks, Everyone!) which we needed so much. I'll be honest, the jetlag is tough, and jetlag with a baby who wakes every two hours all night to eat is a bit of a challenge! We're definitely not feeling as young as when we stayed up all night in college, that's for sure. But, then, college was well, a LOT of years ago! :) I know this may rattle the adoption bonding cages a bit, but we recommend that those of you with babies soon to come home line up a little extra help the first couple of weeks that you are home. Sometimes it's just nice to have a home-cooked meal and clean laundry magically appear! Thanks again, Grandma and Gram!

David's been a charmer through all of the changes this past week. He's been to multiple doctors about his scabies. Please feel free to e-mail me privately if you have scabies in your world as well - we are learning how to deal with it, and thanks to a series of medications, he is much improved now. Overall, though, despite his skin woes, he is a surprisingly feisty little man - gaining nearly a pound in weight in three weeks (I guess those round-the-clock feedings are paying off!), crawling across the living room, playing toys with his new big brother. We still feel as though we need to pinch ourselves occasionally to prove that this is not just a dream and he is really ours! "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gifts!"

We have plenty of shameless pride photos of our two boys at home, but we haven't spent the time necessary fiddling with cameras and computers to get them in the blog. Check back soon, but don't hold your breath if it's a few days before you see them - we're just too busy loving our kids right now! :)

Don't just survive....THRIVE!

Thank you to all of you who have sent your good wishes to us and followed our journey here in Vietnam.  Based on the number of e-mails I’ve been receiving, many of you adoptive families yet to travel are interested in some of the practicalities of living life in Vietnam.  So, after a month of experience, I am TOTALLY not qualified to answer! :)  Still, I will try to give you a few of my thoughts on how to not just survive but THRIVE during your stay in Vietnam.

First of all, though, I have to be a bit preachy.  You see, before you can begin to thrive in this country, you have to actually WANT to do so.  I know that seems beyond obvious, but it is not necessarily the prevailing attitude that Americans seem to exhibit here.  If you are only travelling to Vietnam to pick up your child and return home post haste, perhaps this post isn’t for you.  But, if you want to fall in love with this country, its people and customs, and most of all, the special part of your new son or daughter that is and forever will be Vietnamese, then read on:

1. Find SOMETHING good to say about everything that you see or do.  Instead of being scared of the hoards of scooters everywhere, play our game and try to pick out your favorite one each day.  Bill and I have developed scooter preferences by paying attention to their details, which seem to be a way of expressing Vietnamese personality.  Seriously, my friend Natasha gave one of the best pieces of advice on her blog that has helped us enormously during our time here:  do NOT complain about things that you cannot control EVER.  This rule includes heat, hunger, crying babies, surprise thunderstorms, spit-ups and full diapers, busy traffic….the list is endless.  Just don’t complain.  Period.
2. Find a way to eat Vietnamese food.  Really.  Now, I didn’t really care for much of the Vietnamese food that we had in the U.S. so this was a step of faith for me.  The food here is just so much better, fresher, and more wonderful than anything I attempted at home.  Here’s a list of  some of the favorites that Bill and I have found:  chicken with lemongrass and chili, stewed or braised pork in clay pot, chicken or pork with ginger sauce, five-spice rubbed beef or pork, fresh spring rolls, fried spring rolls (especially in the South – Can Tho is best), pho (especially in the North, although Pho 24 is just absolutely wonderful and inexpensive in both Hanoi and Saigon), anything served satay style – chicken, beef, pork, or meatball, anything served with cashews – they grow here and are so much nuttier than any in the U.S., braised chicken with ginger and lemon leaf (one of my absolute favorites).
3. I’m also going to list the foods that I have learned are also a big part of Vietnamese cuisine, even though they are not quintessentially Vietnamese.  They include:  croissants – any style, including plain, chocolate, ham and cheese stuffed, with nutella – they are soooo good any time of day, brick-oven pizza has been really tasty throughout the country, especially with fresh tomatoes, the French sandwiches and roasted tomato soup (again with those fresh tomatoes!), soda water with a squeeze of lime (very refreshing when it’s hot), the baguettes that are so soft, all sorts of beautiful pastries (our favorites are Opera cake, with chocolate and hazelnut fillings and the cheesecakes), and our all-time highlight of the trip, fresh coconut ice cream.  Simply not to be missed.
4. Hire a tour guide.  The guides are wonderful, friendly, and full of good information.  We’ve learned more about the history and culture of this country in a couple of days with a good guide than we would have in a year without one.  We’ll put in a plug for our travel agent, Tommy Nguyen, at Vietnam Luxury Travel (www.vietnamluxurytravel.com).  His staff has been so helpful.  We have been able to focus on enjoying the country rather than navigating the streets and buying the entrance tickets to sites, thanks to them.  They also arrange everything from hotels to Ha Long Bay trips.
5. Don’t hide inside.  I know it’s hard to get out with your new babies, but you’ll be glad you did.  Even if you just do something simple like taking a walk around Hoan Kiem Lake or hiring a cyclo for an hour to see the Old Quarter, you’ll be so glad to have the memories.  And of course, enjoy a bit of that great food while you’re out as well! :)  It’s always better NOT eaten in a hotel room!
6. Enjoy the shopping here.  The Vietnamese are so good with handmade items that we have focused there.  The list of choices is endless – lacquerware, bambooware, embroidery, quilts, silk clothing and purses, paintings, just to name a few.  Take some time away from the Tax Center in Saigon to browse the small shops and galleries on Dong Khoi – you won’t be disappointed.  Make sure to enjoy the thrill of the hunt in the Old Quarter in Hanoi, whether your goal is to find the funniest t-shirt, the most beautiful purse, or the cheapest DVD.  Don’t miss 44 Le Loi for smocking, embroidered children’s clothing and tablecloths in Saigon (less than 2 blocks from the Rex).  Also, don’t miss the Vietnam Quilt Shop at 16 Hang Tre or the entire streets of Hang Be, Ma May and Ly Quoc Su in the Old Quarter of Hanoi.
7. Take good care of yourself physically.  This trip is tiring, no doubt about it, so treat yourself well and you’ll make it better.  First, I would really recommend arriving  a couple of days before you are supposed to travel to your child’s orphanage if you possibly can.  Jet lag hit us the worst on Days 3 and 4, and I think it would be more special if you had passed that point prior to meeting your child and having your G&R.  Also, eat well (again, see the list above – this one just isn’t so hard in Vietnam!) and stay well-hydrated.  Finally, consider seriously whether or not you bring your other small children along on the trip.  The tiredness, jetlag, and emotional changes of a whole new world with a brand new child are extreme for an adult, yet alone a youngster.  Bill and I personally would not have had the physical strength to care for another child during this time.  God has been gracious to us, allowing our 5-year-old back in the U.S. to have a wonderful bonding time with his grandparents.  Even at his young age, he has learned so much about being thankful  for the times we have with our family and the lesson that all good things require a little  something sacrificial of us, including the great thing of having a new brother.  Lessons I hope he will take with him beyond just this time while we are away.

I hope that this list has been helpful to you.  I’m sure I’ve raised an eyebrow or two, but please remember that these are my own personal musings.  You and your families may come up with other answers as to how to love your time here, and I wish you that blessing!  As these are just personal opinions on my part, I am going to take the rare opportunity to close this blog to comments.  Please take what good you gleam from this post, toss any bad that you find, and most of all, fall in love with Vietnam!  :)

Saturdays in the Park!

We've been back in Hanoi, enjoying a relaxing and quiet time with David this week.  So what have we been doing to fill our days lately?  Here's a list of some of the highlights:

• Took a walk through the Old Quarter and a tour of a Hanoi tube house.  It was so interesting to see the simple furnishings and kitchen that a family of six uses for their daily living.  The house is at 87 Ma May Street, and admission is a whopping 5,000 dong (about 30 cents!)  Go spend your wad and see it - we recommend it highly to better understand Vietnamese daily life.
• Made a trip out for groceries and laundry.  Grocery stores are not at every major intersection here in Hanoi the way they are at home, so it's a real excursion to get normal chores done.  The laundry was sooooo worth it though - only $15 to wash and fold a large suitcase worth of stuff!  Wish we could figure out how to import that one to the U.S. - I'd bring it just for you, Shelly and Sheila! :)
• Took a long walk all the way around Hoan Kiem Lake on Saturday night.  There were so many families out, eating ice cream, playing badminton, enjoying the cooler weather, as it had rained that afternoon.  David slept peacefully in his carrier the entire time.  What a beautiful evening!
• Had a fantastic Italian dinner at Leone d'Oro's across from the Opera House, courtesy of the Clines' suggestion!
• Enjoyed a night out for Bill to hear the Vietnam Symphony Orchestra at the Hanoi Opera House - my birthday gift to him!  Besides, any time that you can hear the Symphony for $12/ticket, you just gotta go!
• Took a long taxi ride around town to see some different parts of the city and to go to a very modern Hanoi shopping mall.  We had a great time looking at all the clothing and fashion that is trendy here, but our very favorite part was the appliance store.  Bill loved the big t.v.'s (of course, it's a guy thing) and Paula was amazed by the tiny kitchen appliances.  Most Vietnamese do not have any refrigeration in their homes.  The wealthiest have a fridge that is about 24" wide by about 4 feet tall.  Most Vietnamese cook outdoors on a homemade stove/grill (made often from a large coffee can or a clay flower pot and fired with either wood kindling or charcoal).  The wealthiest Vietnamese go to the appliance store and buy either a single flat hot plate or a small wok-style electric skillet and perhaps a rice cooker.  That's about it! :)  Definitely not the typical HGTV dream kitchen, but it seems to work amazingly well here!
• Went for dinner with some new friends at the Green Tangerine Restaurant on Hang Be Street.  Wonderful food, wonderful atmosphere, wonderful conversation!  Thanks Heather and Paul for a great evening!  By the way, their sweet Dylan is also from the Vinh Long orphanage, and they had their G&R just a few days after ours!

We've posted some more photo highlights below.  Of course, our favorite times have been spent just playing with David and enjoying his happy smile.  You may notice in the close-up photo that he has quite a little rash on his face right now.  We saw a Western Doctor this week, and she believes it is a reaction to the strong medicine that we had to use to treat his scabies.  He continues to amaze us, though, by smiling and cooing despite all the polka dots! :)  

We'll be heading home in just two days!  We have loved our time here in Vietnam, and now we are so excited and ready to introduce David to big brother Will and the rest of the family!  Don't be surprised if we don't post again for a bit; we will be too busy just being a happy family having a Happy 4th of July at home!

Hanoi Highlights

Visa - it's exactly where we want to be! :)

Today was a really big day for us!  We got ourselves all dressed up and went to the U.S. Embassy.  We paid our fees and had a very cursory (like 2 minutes) interview with an Immigration Officer.  Bill gave an official sworn statement as the primary petitioner that all the papers presented were true and correct to the best of his knowledge.  The officer then stamped a little claim check, not at all unlike a car valet receipt, and told us that David's Visa would be ready any time after 4:30 p.m.  Just like that, it was finished!  The process of adopting is not a short trip, so it seems a little surreal to have David in hand, let alone all of his papers necessary to return to the U.S.

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Now we get to sit back and relax - literally.  On the wise counsel of our adoption agency, we had previously booked our return flight to leave on July 2 and land on July 3, allowing us plenty of time for any hiccups along the way.  God has been so gracious that our entire process has been accomplished without any paperwork issues, so we are finished a few days early.  We are not planning to change our flights though.  Instead, we are going to take it easy and enjoy the beauty of Hanoi, the air-conditioning and great care of the Hilton, and get to know our son.

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We're also going to let him get to know us.  You see, his little world is one big ball of changes right now.  After all, he had lived his entire young life in a kind and caring but very rural orphanage.  Suddenly, these two smiling faces (a.k.a., Bill and me) pick him up and whisk him into a world of cities, scooters, sights and sounds.  David has been an absolute trooper, hanging pretty tough despite all the changes.  The extra few days of quiet will do him a lot of good though, before we ask a huge task of him as we load him onto an airplane for 8,600 miles and 12 time zones!  (Hopefully, sitting close to us on the planes won't be a huge task for our fellow fliers!)  

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Thank you all for your prayers and support for us during this entire multi-year process.  Please continue to pray us all the way home.  We ask that you would pray for David's health right now - he has a nasty case of scabies that causes skin issues for him.  He is also working hard to adjust to life on Western formula and baby food, so pray for his little tummy to stay well.  Pray for wisdom for us as parents as we are trying to learn his schedule and world and to help him feel safe and secure with us.  

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I've posted some first-week highlight photos below.  Sorry it took so long to get them on the blog.  Our internet is much slower here, our eyes are a bit bleary from being awake nights with an infant, and our hands are more full taking care of our new son!  Most of all, though, our hearts have grown to hold even more love for another sweet boy! :)  Praise be to God, from Whom all blessings flow!

Meeting David!